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16713

answers:

130

I'm looking for some funny jokes and puns that occur in computer languages. I'll post an oldie to kick things off... What are some others?

update: Especially looking for code-related jokes... the ones that only make sense to programmers reading code.

+18  A: 

This one is old but good imo:

Select * From Users Where Clue > 0;

>0 Rows Returned
Brian Leahy
Mine always returns 1 row
epochwolf
+22  A: 

In 8080 assembler, the ORG directive specified the start address (origin) of the program. Typically that would be at address 100 hex, therefore:

ASM   EQ    $100
      ORG   ASM
Mark Harrison
Similar to Motorola. The 6809 sign extend instruction was SEX..
Jonathan Webb
Very similar to developing on TI-8x series calculators. Execution began at `_asm_exec_ram`, so every program started with the line `.org _asm…`. In high school, it was hilarious. :-)
Ben Blank
+5  A: 

One error code for Java in hex is 0xBADCAFE

And additional list: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hexspeak

Mark Cidade
Mmmmm... 12648430
Oorang
+1  A: 

Other funny alphanumeric numbers can be found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_number_(programming)#Magic_GUIDs

Mark Cidade
+12  A: 

Is this a hashtable? Because I see me looking you up in constant time

Patrick
+70  A: 

Here's a good one:

Why can't programmers tell the difference between Christmas and Halloween...

Because 31 in octal equals 25 in decimal, i.e. OCT 31 == DEC 25

David
It's best if you don't explain the joke, any programmer should be able to work it out! :P
Slace
Damn! Good one mister!
Ubersoldat
@Slace: Well, not everyone. This is a culture specific joke, so people who don't know what/when Christmas and/or Halloween are wouldn't understand it without the explanation.
Hosam Aly
Shouldn't it be "OCT 31 = DEC 25" since it's a statement of fact, not a conditional?
sfarbota
awesome...this rocks...
crosenblum
@sfarbota: No; the left side is not an Lvalue. The “≡” symbol would have been correct though.
Donal Fellows
+32  A: 

I recall a determined C programmer who would go to great lengths, it seemed, to include comical lines in his source code. For example:

#define FALSE 0
#define OFTHEJEDI -1

int foo() {

    if (FALSE) {
        return OFTHEJEDI; /* Ha! */
    }

}

It was probably funny in 1983.

Danny Whitt
This method is broken. It will return a random result, since there is no return statement after the if ;-)
Mecki
“method” => “function” :)
Jonathan Sterling
+5  A: 

My favorite programming pun is actually in Swedish and it can't really be translated so this'll be a special for all Swedish speaking people in here:

Två programmerare och en stack

grapefrukt
Två blinda programmerare och en kunde C. :)
Marcus Lindblom
Google translate says: "Two programmers and a stack"."i still don't get it
Jonno_FTW
As said, it can't be translated, especially with some automated translator.
Esko
"stack" is a homonym, meaning both the programming concept and a swedish slang word for "ran away"
grapefrukt
+1  A: 

Raymond Chen on .NET Rocks: "You manage your own code!" in a thick bronx? accent.

Brian Leahy
+38  A: 
Patrick
This annoys me so much!
PiPeep
I want my minute back!!!
Mk12
I think you'll find that's DUAL, not DUEL. Crappy joke that didn't even have a proper punchline.
Tor Valamo
Of course it must be DUEL, because of the duel he lost. Great joke! :)
jellybean
@Tor Valamo: I'd recommend taking some time to look up the meanings of "homophone" and "sense of humor".
Maulrus
@Maulrus - NO U :p
Tor Valamo
+11  A: 

Q. Why didn't the Romans make good C programmers?

A. Because they had no way to return 0.

John Topley
+168  A: 

Another classic is the worlds last mistake:

/* world's last mistake in C */ 

if(code = CODE_RED) { 
 launch_missiles(); 
}
Mo
Ha! "Shall we play a game?"
Haacked
But only if CODE_RED is non-zero. So "enum Codes {CODE_RED, CODE_YELLOW, CODE_GREEN};" would save the day!
Skizz
@Anton, are you saying @Skizz forgot the mistake? If so, you might want to look again.
Marcelo Cantos
Yoda (conditions) can save the world: http://stackoverflow.com/questions/2349378/new-programming-jargon-you-coined
tszming
+113  A: 

And:

XML is like violence - if it doesn't solve your problems, you are not using enough of it.

Mo
Best line ever!
John Gietzen
+74  A: 

There are 10 types of programmer: those who understand binary and those who don't

Mike Woodhouse
You stole that from a T-shirt. I can't remember where I saw it though...
Bernard
I think I got it from the same place the t-shirt did...
Mike Woodhouse
There are 10 types of programmer... those who understand ternary, those who don't, and those who confuse it with binary.
ChristianLinnell
There are 10 types of programmer... those who understand ternary, those who don't, those who confuse it with binary, and those who see the pattern repeating for all base-n counting systems.
RodeoClown
All number systems are base 10 any way.
hexium
@hexium: It seems not many people got that :)
BlueRaja - Danny Pflughoeft
+40  A: 

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features

Juan Manuel
+49  A: 

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive!?

Brad Barker
That's just funny. :D
Tor Valamo
+24  A: 

I can't believe I actually kept attributions for this one:

p = "you are nasty"         q = "my first name is Janet"
r = "my first name is baby" s = "My name is Miss Jackson"
(!r -> q) & (p -> s)      - Braverman's Third Lemma
!r & (!p -> q) & (p -> s) - Libor's Corrolary
        Seen in the .sig of David Terrell,  4.9.2000

From fortune(1):

better !pout !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa claus <north pole >town

cat /etc/passwd >list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
cat list | grep nice >giftlist
santa claus <north pole > town

who | grep sleeping
who | grep awake
who | egrep 'bad|good'
for (goodness sake) {
        be good
}
jj33
Useless use of `cat` on line 9, 10
Kevin Panko
+191  A: 

A SQL query goes into a bar, wanders up to 2 tables and says "can i join you".

groan

nachojammers
Second the groan
Anton Tykhyy
I tell this joke as often as I have the chance. Awesome.
rwmnau
sql is not for dummies.
crosenblum
+66  A: 

Our developers were on a softball team named Try...Catch...Throw

Ryan
coldfusion people should love this one :)
crosenblum
My mate was in a cricket team called `run bowl.bat`
David
+84  A: 

An old favourite of mine - Technical manuals in the spirit of Dr. Seuss:

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this? What a shame sir!
We'll find you another game sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.

Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

Chris B-C
Source: http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/elz1/clocktower/DrSeuss.html (The quoted section's only half the poem)
Margaret
Actually, new address: http://www.geneziegler.com/clocktower/DrSeuss.html
VonC
+48  A: 

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, "Can't you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!"

To which the man replies, "I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings; we only worry about errors."

Martin
What a horrible programmer.
LiraNuna
warnings are errors too. they're just errors that the compiler can ignore, but the programmer shouldn't.
Tor Valamo
I bet you guys are a hoot to visit a comedy show with.
Martin
@All who think this is wrong - get real, we all do it!!!
GxG
+2  A: 

An old one...

Q: How many Intel processors does it take to do a logical shift right?

A: 33. 32 to hold down the bits, and 1 to push the register.

izb
So, an x64 is gonna be even less efficient!
Anzurio
+1  A: 

I like the Alan Perlis quotes enough to make a tribute.

David in Dakota
+39  A: 

From limerickdb.com:

A programmer started to cuss
Because getting to sleep was a fuss
As he lay there in bed
Looping 'round in his head
Was: while(!asleep()) sheep++;

Espenhh
end a line in two spaces to force a line break.
Cheekysoft
Maybe the programmer couldn't sleep because he doesn't use a property for asleep but a method ... ;)
Anheledir
or use <pre>
Chris Marasti-Georg
I guess you don't need to encode them in comments. oops.
Chris Marasti-Georg
everything after the loop is a comment in VB
Anonymous Type
+92  A: 
Chris
The EPOCH FAIL is one of my favorites. :)
epochwolf
Woah, those are my two favorite XKCDs!!!!!!
micmoo
+1 for being funny and directly applicable to the question, since they involve puns/language.
Peter Recore
+4  A: 

Don't know if this a pun but I read this in someone's signature once:

"At the beginning of my career I used to write software that just worked. Now, I write software that doesn't fail."

cschol
+9  A: 

This is one of my favorite puns. ( copied from here )

It is a reference to code blocks, methods, and closures, in Perl 6

As soon as she walked through my door I knew her type: she was an argument waiting to happen. I wondered if the argument was required... or merely optional? Guess I'd know the parameters soon enough.

"I'm Star At Data", she offered. *( @Data )

She made it sound like a pass. But was the pass by name? Or by position?

"I think someone's trying to execute me. Some caller."

"Okay, I'll see what I can find out. Meanwhile, we're gonna have to limit the scope of your accessibility."

"I'd prefer not to be bound like that," she replied.

"I see you know my methods," I shot back.

She just stared at me, like I was a block. Suddenly I wasn't surprised someone wanted to dispatch her.

"I'll return later," she purred. "Meanwhile, I'm counting on you to give me some closure".

It was gonna be another routine investigation.

  • Dashiell Hammett, "The Maltese Camel"

That Damian Conway sure is a character.

Brad Gilbert
+9  A: 

How to keep programmer busy?

  • Read the line below.
  • Read the line above.
Grzegorz Gierlik
Error: Infinite loop encountered.
Brad Gilbert
@Aleksander - Nah, this one is tail call optimized.
Erik Forbes
+7  A: 

For the series on the "x types of people", with a little recursion in it:

There are only 2 types of people in the world: 
those who believe that there are only 2 types of people 
in the world, and those who don't.

ila
+79  A: 

My favorite:

public double penetration;

from here

Vulcan Eager
I have a partial on a site called "inside bottom". Didn't realise for quite some time.
dylanfm
OK, is it bad that I had to read this five times before I got the joke?
Doug McClean
it's probably good you didn't get it ;)
dotjoe
At the time of this comment, this post has 69 votes. Coincidence? I think not.
JasCav
A: 
John Topley
This one is really cool it was -2 vote earlier, I think those voted down who don't understand binary ! lol.
Thunder
@Thunder: No, I think those voted down who saw this joke on the first page of answers (posted five days before this one).
Michael Myers
+9  A: 

/(bb|[^b]{2})/i (click link for the SO post that explains it)

Teifion
+53  A: 
Russ Cam
Javascript, a movie about coffee. LOL
MiseryIndex
I needed some help to get this one.
Seventh Element
I don't get the first one...
nikic
a fast guy in tights - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098798/
Russ Cam
+37  A: 

My favorite:

Two strings walk into a bar. The first one says:

Hello, I'd like some Vodka [email protected])W$(#*$&!^[email protected])^&[email protected]#!

"You'll have to excuse my friend," the second one says, "he's not null-terminated."

aib
Should be "not terminated with 'null'.
Joel Coehoorn
+18  A: 

Some of my favorite quotes:

It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter. - Nathanial Borenstein

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization - Gerald M Weinberg ( aka Weinberg's Law )

Brian Paden
+94  A: 
if (computer.fail == true) {
    background.setColor(blue);
    user.frown();
    sys.shutdown();
    user.scream("OH, F**K YOU");
}
DShook
Best limerick EVER!
apandit
Damn, I want to edit it to read "if (computer.fail) {", but then it won't rhyme properly!
Pat
Didn't realise it's a limerick until I read the comment... we don't tend to read code aloud, do we? :)
ShreevatsaR
i can't upvote this enough times
Jason
Now I remember why this sounds so familiar: Hickory, dickory, dock,The mouse ran up the clock.The clock struck one,The mouse ran down,Hickory, dickory, dock
Jacob
upvoted! and laughing still lol
crosenblum
@Jacob: that is the meter and rhyme scheme for a limerick.
Randolpho
what's a limerick? :(
Nico
+6  A: 

I like the haiku error messages.

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that

Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down

-- (There are more) http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/error-haiku.html

Remou
The first line of the first one has only four syllables. Maybe "A file of that size?"
Michael Myers
+1  A: 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Drug Dealers                                                                   |Computer Programmers                                                  |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Refer to their clients as "users".                                             |Refer to their clients as "users".                                    |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|"The first one's free!"                                                        |"Download a free trial version…"                                      |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move the stuff).          |Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug the code). |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Strange jargon: "Stick," "Rock," "Dime bag," "E".                              |Strange jargon: "SCSI," "RTFM," "Java," "ISDN".                       |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.            |Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.   |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Job is assisted by the industry's producing newer, more potent mixes.          |Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, faster machines.       |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers.                               |Often seen in the company of marketing people and venture capitalists.|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Their product causes unhealthy addictions.                                     |DOOM. Quake. SimCity. Duke Nukem 3D. 'Nuff said.                      |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Do your job well, and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you.   |Damn! Damn! DAMN!!!                                                   |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonas Pegerfalk
+12  A: 

your program (n): a maze of non-sequiturs littered with clever-clever tricks and irrelevant comments. Compare MY PROGRAM.

my program (n): a gem of algorithmic precision, offering the most sublime balance between compact, efficient coding on the one hand, and fully commented legibility for posterity on the other. Compare YOUR PROGRAM.

Adam
+84  A: 

On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament!], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.

Charles Babbage

Adam
Thank you! This is getting saved.
Wang
User confusion brought on by untold delusion.
Anonymous Type
+83  A: 

Adam and Eve were walking through the forest when they came across some snakes with chain saws cutting down trees and making rustic furniture. Adam asked, "what are you doing?"

One of the snakes hissed, "God told us to go forth and multiply ... but we're just adders, we can't multiply without log tables"

Mark Borgerding
I'm +1 that because it is by far the worst pun I've ever heard. Period.
Spence
Oh that really is very good - thank you!
RichieHindle
Hilarious. :) Loved this one.
jellybean
oh... my.... goodness...
Stefano Borini
+98  A: 

Definition of recursion:

recursion /n./
See recursion.

Pat
I think that can actually happen in a cheap dictionary. hehe.
ramayac
An oldie but a goodie.
Atømix
I found a great definition of recursion. It's on Stack Overflow.
Windows programmer
http://www.google.com.ph/search?q=recursion to really feel recursion... :)
Reigel
+10  A: 

I have some terrible homebrew jokes I used to use to sap the morale of my colleagues.

= KnockKnockJoke.cs

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Null

Null who?

Null Reference Exception, object not set to instance of object in line 4 of knockknockjoke.cs

= A UK only joke

Q. Why couldn't the variable buy anything from the charity shop?

A. Because it wasn't in Scope! (Scope is a charity shop in the UK)

= XML

Q. What did the XML Parser say to the invalid xml fragment?

A. None shall Parse!

= India

Q. Why couldn't the Indian programmer get to work?

A. Because he didn't know how to use the Delhigate

Quibblesome
You say *used to* use. Did your colleagues all commit suicide? These are **horrible**! Well, I kinda liked the "None shall Parse" bit.
P Daddy
I don't work there no more, but yea I could see the expressions of pain as I told them and that made the jokes all the better. Mwahahaha. :D
Quibblesome
+105  A: 
Flubba
lmao. I laughed really hard at this one. LOL.
SD
omg lol me too...so true :)
crosenblum
+19  A: 

My other car is a cdr.

(It's a lisp joke - the cells in a pair are accessed with car and cdr)

Kyle Cronin
+151  A: 
Andy S
no matter how many times i see this it still makes me smile
Jason Miesionczek
This is so true it hurts.
Bernard
with what language is this related?
Arnis L.
Any language :)
crosenblum
In fact it pretty much works for any engineering project between the first use of fire to the ISS.
Martin Beckett
Anyone have a source for this?
Andrew Lewis
@Andrew, I know I saw a variant of this decades ago. Tracking down an original source will be nearly impossible.
Mark Ransom
projectcartoon.com
Professor_Calculus
+6  A: 

Did you hear about the computer programmer found unconscious in the shower? He was shampooing his hair, and made the mistake of reading the instructions on the bottle: Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

I've heard this one attributed to Grace Hopper.
Mark Ransom
+8  A: 

There's an old Russian joke right on the topic.

The teacher asks a 1st-grader's father:

-- What kind of an education are you providing your child with? When I asked him what you did for a living, he replied that his father was a pianist in a whorehouse!

-- Well, I'm a UNIX system expert. Go explain it to him.

Dmitry Shechtman
+12  A: 

A WTF boolean using an enum.

enum BOOLEAN {
    TRUE,
    FALSE,
    FILE_NOT_FOUND
};
cdv
+41  A: 

In order to proceed, Vista needs to increment the instruction pointer.

[Allow] or [Cancel]

Originally posted at http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=364301&amp;cid=21401413

Ed Guiness
That joke sucks more every time I see it, not the least of which because it is not even factually correct. The buttons on the dialog are CONTINUE and CANCEL Reply originally posted on Slashdot.
Anonymous Type
+2  A: 

I heard this one in a podcast from the OOPSLA 07 conference. I'm paraphrasing and quoting from memory so bear with me...

A programmer got a peek at the source code for the universe (obviously written in LISP) and said... My God! It's full of CARs!

Ferruccio
+61  A: 
ila
Awe how do I miss FoxTrot.
Daniel A. White
+1: C! Why do we have to enter at least 15 characters?
Anthony Cuozzo
in Haskell it's merely: `replicate 500 "I won't throw paper planes in class"`
Jonno_FTW
in Python it's merely: `"I won't throw paper planes in class" * 500`
Tor Valamo
maybe he needs to add "\n" after the "I will not throw paper planes in class"
Yassir
I've designed a new programming language EATYOURSHORTS with the sole purpose of printing this line on screen 100, 200 or 500 times. To print the line 500 times all you need is one character: "."
Seventh Element
`I won't throw paper planes in class.I won't throw paper planes in class.I won't throw paper planes in class.I won't throw paper planes in class.I won't throw paper planes in class.I won't throw paper planes in class.I won't throw paper planes in class....`
rlbond
A: 

Java's magic number for .class files 0XCAFEBABE

John Meagher
+2  A: 
wvdschel
A: 

A presenter and view are out clubbing. The view has had way too much to drink and the presenter leans over a model "Can you give me a lift home, I just can't depend on this guy"

Simon Munro
+65  A: 

@Jonas - When in doubt, use Fixed Width Formatting.

     Drug Dealers                      Computer Programmers 
     - Refer to their clients as       - Refer to their clients as 
       "users".                          "users". 

     - "The first one's free!"         - "Download a free trial version…" 

     - Have important South-East       - Have important South-East Asian  
       Asian connections (to help        connections (to help debug the 
       move the stuff).                  code).

     - Strange jargon: "Stick,"        - Strange jargon: "SCSI," "RTFM," 
       "Rock," "Dime bag," "E".          "Java," "ISDN". 

     - Realize that there's tons       - Realize that there's tons of 
       of cash in the 14- to             cash in the 14- to 25-year-old 
       25-year-old market.               market. 

     - Job is assisted by the          - Job is assisted by industry's 
       industry's producing newer,       producing newer, faster machines. 
       more potent mixes. 

     - Often seen in the company       - Often seen in the company of 
       of pimps and hustlers.            marketing people and venture 
                                         capitalists. 

     - Their product causes            - WoW. DOOM. Quake. SimCity. 
       unhealthy addictions.             Duke Nukem 3D. 'Nuff said. 

     - Do your job well, and you
       can sleep with sexy movie       - Damn! Damn! DAMN!!! 
       stars who depend on you. 
Adam Davis
My favourite by far!!!!!...sucks that the similarities only go so far
kipkuch
No WoW on that list of addicting games? Seriously?
Chris Lutz
@Chris - Seriously! Updated...
Adam Davis
omg this rocks! I love it...not everyone play's wow, what about kalonline?
crosenblum
Are you sure that WoW belongs on the "Computer Programmers" side?
vobject
+94  A: 

I don't know why this is so funny, but I nearly fell off my chair...

"Make me a sandwich." "What? Make it yourself." "Sudo make me a sandwich." "Okay." -- Proper User Policy apparently means Simon Says.

Brabster
I got a T-shirt from xkcd saying it. People sometimes ask what the hell does it mean :-)
Zizzencs
What the hell does it mean?
Eduardo Molteni
It means you use windows too much ;)
rcreswick
sudo == super user do, on unix like operating systems
John Sibly
I always think the first response should be more like "I can't do that" But maybe that's not as funny...
Johan
doesn't make sense to me, why is this so funny?
hasen j
sudo == super user do. (Thanks John) On *nix systems the super user (aka "root") has rights to the entire system. There is no barriers to the root user. It can create, modify or delete anything anywhere.
epochwolf
*nix means Unix/Linux/etc. like systems.
epochwolf
often on a *nix system, you'll go to type something that you require root privileges for, for example. apt-get install someProgram, but then you'll get told you don't have enough permissions, you realise your forgot to type sudo first, so you retype, sudo apt-get install someProgram. This happens alot, and I'm sure it does for everyone who use *nix system that has the sudo command. That's why it's funny.
Sekhat
or you could just use `su -` and enter root mode and not have to worry about typing in `sudo` the entire session
Jonno_FTW
The response should have been to scream `sudo!!`
dotjoe
this is why SO doesn't work for discussing/explaining topics. guess what order those comments were in from the context
Martin Beckett
+43  A: 

For the C++ programmers:

catch ( exception& )
{
    cerr << "That's weird\n";
    cerr << "It works on my machine\n";
}
Andy Brice
Doesn't it seem like this should be seen more in code?
Noctis Skytower
+22  A: 

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None - It’s a hardware problem.

ila
+21  A: 

One hundred little bugs in the code,
One hundred little bugs.
Fix a bug, link the fix in,
One hundred little bugs in the code.

ila
lmao that was hilarious
Shimmy
+96  A: 
Danimal
Please credit XKCD (or any other author/artist) when you post their material.
rcreswick
... and a bit of research would have shown you it's Randall Munroe
Mark Pim
+7  A: 

If you like koans

A novice was trying to fix a broken Lisp machine by turning the power off and on.

Knight, seeing what the student was doing, spoke sternly: "You cannot fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding of what is going wrong."

Knight turned the machine off and on.

The machine worked.

and

One day a student came to Moon and said: "I understand how to make a better garbage collector. We must keep a reference count of the pointers to each cons."

Moon patiently told the student the following story:

"One day a student came to Moon and said: `I understand how to make a better garbage collector...

[note: Pure reference-count garbage collectors have problems with circular structures that point to themselves.]

Pat
+27  A: 

This one is fairly codeish. Surprised I didn't see it, usually entitled "The Evolution of Language".

Descartes

2x

Church

\lambda x. 2x

McCarthy

(LAMBDA (X) (* 2 X))

W3C

<?xml version="1.0"?>
<LAMBDA-TERM>
  <VAR-LIST>
    <VAR>X</VAR>
  </VAR-LIST>
  <EXPR>
    <APPLICATION>
      <EXPR><CONST>*</CONST></EXPR>
      <ARGUMENT-LIST>
        <EXPR><CONST>2</CONST></EXPR>
        <EXPR><VAR>X</VAR></EXPR>
      </ARGUMENT-LIST>
    </APPLICATION>
  </EXPR>
</LAMBDA-TERM>
Svend
+23  A: 

2B OR NOT 2B that's FF

Nerfboy
+19  A: 
Marcio Aguiar
I loved the Micro-Chip part!
MiseryIndex
+8  A: 

A unix salesperson, Lenore,
loved her job, but loved the beach more.
  She devised such a way
  to combine work and play:
She sells C-shells by the seashore.

Lawrence Johnston
+14  A: 

Not precisely a code joke, but still one of my favorites, and definitely is all too applicable to coding:

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

Lawrence Johnston
+4  A: 

Something I cooked up on the Joel on Software boards a few years ago:

Developer Movie Titles

Joel Coehoorn
Wow, some very cool stuff there. :-)
Konrad Rudolph
Love 'em. How about private save(Ryan){ ... }
Sylverdrag
A: 

if (APP.CRASH()) { nuke_china; }

I have nothing bad in my mind about china, this is just our local joke with friends.

Lukas Šalkauskas
+27  A: 

Overhead in an ASP.Net user's group meeting.. (poking fun at Java..)

Knock Knock

Who's there?

...

...

...

(wait about 30 seconds)

"Java.."

Peter Bernier
this made me laugh
pduersteler
+7  A: 

Hip hip... Array!

harriyott
+2  A: 

Another koan:

The venerable master Qc Na was walking with his student, Anton. Hoping to prompt the master into a discussion, Anton said "Master, I have heard that objects are a very good thing - is this true?" Qc Na looked pityingly at his student and replied, "Foolish pupil - objects are merely a poor man's closures." Chastised, Anton took his leave from his master and returned to his cell, intent on studying closures. He carefully read the entire "Lambda: The Ultimate..." series of papers and its cousins, and implemented a small Scheme interpreter with a closure-based object system. He learned much, and looked forward to informing his master of his progress.

On his next walk with Qc Na, Anton attempted to impress his master by saying "Master, I have diligently studied the matter, and now understand that objects are truly a poor man's closures." Qc Na responded by hitting Anton with his stick, saying "When will you learn? Closures are a poor man's object." At that moment, Anton became enlightened.

+1  A: 

There's Bill Gosper's famous "Split-p soup?" quote.

Paul Reiners
+1  A: 
JohnFx
+3  A: 

Ghosts are real! unless declared int...

pjz
The original was "god is real, unless ..."
ldigas
A: 

Be sure to check out this epic collection of real-life gems over at the WikiWikiWeb.

Funny Things Seen In Source Code And Documentation

+1  A: 

Computers are a lot like air conditioners. They both work great until you start opening windows.

+13  A: 

A Computer is like a submarine. When you open Windows, the trouble begins.

My favourite thus far!
erisco
+18  A: 

The 12 most common statements you are likely to hear from a Klingon programmer

  • “Specifications are for the weak and timid!”
  • “This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!”
  • “You cannot begin to appreciate Dilbert unless you have read it in the original Klingon!”
  • “Indentation?! I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!”
  • “What is this talk of ‘release’? Klingons do not ‘release’ software. We uncage our software, letting it leave a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.”
  • “Klingon function calls do not have ‘parameters.’ They have ‘arguments’ . . . and they ALWAYS WIN THEM!”
  • “Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.”
  • “I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not trouble us again.”
  • “A TRUE Klingon programmer does not comment his code!”
  • “By filing this PTR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!”
  • “You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!”
  • “Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!”

anon

jake
not bad. well mostly lol.
crosenblum
“Specifications are for the weak and timid!” - Classic
cdv
Klingons do not ‘release’ software. It escapes!
Kevin Panko
+68  A: 

If you hold a Unix shell up to your ear you can hear the C.

glenatron
hahaha nice one!
hasen j
lol, *groan*... +1
John Gietzen
+1 *groan* (15 chars)
Mk12
The best ever !!!!!!!!
Yassir
punny :) +1 ...
jellybean
+2  A: 

This'll probably get lost somewhere in the back there, but here goes anyway. I once wrote this a while back, fed up with the abundance of "Hello World!" programs.

#!/usr/bin/perl
for $i (1..10) {sleep 1; print ((10-$i)."\n");}
print "Goodbye world!";
&global_thermonuclear_meltdown;
Matthew Scharley
you want '.' not '+'
drhorrible
+1  A: 

When somthing goes wrong you can't explain, just say: Must be a layer 8 problem...

GHad
+4  A: 

Here's my favorite (in Visual Basic):

Sub doSomething
 on error goto hell

 doStuff()

hell:
End Sub
Eduard Wirch
+4  A: 
Valerion
With a little help from the community, I think this has some potential to be pretty funny!
Gavin Miller
+2  A: 

What is the common question asked when two programmers meet and when two beggars meet?

. . . . . . Which platform are you working in?

goths
+3  A: 

SELECT DISTINCT users.id, users.membership, (((acos(sin((35.7589*pi()/180)) * sin((users.latitude*pi()/180))+cos((35.7589*pi()/180)) * cos((users.latitude*pi()/180)) * cos(((-78.7798- users.longitude)*pi()/180))))*180/pi())*60*1.1515) as distance FROM users INNER JOIN laston ON users.id = laston.user_id INNER JOIN z_9 AS s9 ON users.id = s9.user_id INNER JOIN z_12 AS s12 ON users.id = s12.user_id INNER JOIN z_13 AS s13 ON users.id = s13.user_id INNER JOIN z_14 AS s14 ON users.id = s14.user_id INNER JOIN z_15 AS s15 ON users.id = s15.user_id INNER JOIN z_16 AS s16 ON users.id = s16.user_id INNER JOIN z_17 AS s17 ON users.id = s17.user_id INNER JOIN z_18 AS s18 ON users.id = s18.user_id INNER JOIN z_19 AS s19 ON users.id = s19.user_id INNER JOIN z_21 AS s21 ON users.id = s21.user_id INNER JOIN z_22 AS s22 ON users.id = s22.user_id INNER JOIN z_23 AS s23 ON users.id = s23.user_id INNER JOIN z_24 AS s24 ON users.id = s24.user_id INNER JOIN z_25 AS s25 ON users.id = s25.user_id INNER JOIN z_27 AS s27 ON users.id = s27.user_id INNER JOIN z_29 AS s29 ON users.id = s29.user_id INNER JOIN z_31 AS s31 ON users.id = s31.user_id INNER JOIN z_32 AS s32 ON users.id = s32.user_id INNER JOIN z_33 AS s33 ON users.id = s33.user_id INNER JOIN z_35 AS s35 ON users.id = s35.user_id INNER JOIN z_38 AS s38 ON users.id = s38.user_id INNER JOIN z_39 AS s39 ON users.id = s39.user_id INNER JOIN z_40 AS s40 ON users.id = s40.user_id INNER JOIN z_41 AS s41 ON users.id = s41.user_id INNER JOIN z_42 AS s42 ON users.id = s42.user_id INNER JOIN z_50 AS s50 ON users.id = s50.user_id INNER JOIN z_51 AS s51 ON users.id = s51.user_id INNER JOIN z_53 AS s53 ON users.id = s53.user_id INNER JOIN z_55 AS s55 ON users.id = s55.user_id INNER JOIN z_58 AS s58 ON users.id = s58.user_id INNER JOIN z_60 AS s60 ON users.id = s60.user_id WHERE 1 AND users.gender = '4112' AND users.seeking = '4092' AND (s9.option_id = '137' OR s9.option_id = '138' OR s9.option_id = '139' OR s9.option_id = '140' OR s9.option_id = '141' OR s9.option_id = '142' OR s9.option_id = '433' OR s9.option_id = '434' OR s9.option_id = '481' OR s9.option_id = '482') AND (s12.option_id = '214' OR s12.option_id = '215' OR s12.option_id = '216' OR s12.option_id = '217' OR s12.option_id = '218' OR s12.option_id = '220') AND (s13.option_id = '221' OR s13.option_id = '222' OR s13.option_id = '223' OR s13.option_id = '224' OR s13.option_id = '225' OR s13.option_id = '226' OR s13.option_id = '227' OR s13.option_id = '429' OR s13.option_id = '435' OR s13.option_id = '495') AND (s14.option_id = '228' OR s14.option_id = '229' OR s14.option_id = '230' OR s14.option_id = '231' OR s14.option_id = '488' OR s14.option_id = '489' OR s14.option_id = '646') AND (s15.option_id = '232' OR s15.option_id = '233' OR s15.option_id = '234' OR s15.option_id = '645') AND (s16.option_id = '238' OR s16.option_id = '239' OR s16.option_id = '240') AND (s17.option_id = '242' OR s17.option_id = '243' OR s17.option_id = '244' OR s17.option_id = '245' OR s17.option_id = '246' OR s17.option_id = '436') AND (s18.option_id = '248' OR s18.option_id = '249' OR s18.option_id = '250' OR s18.option_id = '251' OR s18.option_id = '252' OR s18.option_id = '253' OR s18.option_id = '254' OR s18.option_id = '437') AND (s19.option_id = '256' OR s19.option_id = '257' OR s19.option_id = '258' OR s19.option_id = '259' OR s19.option_id = '260' OR s19.option_id = '261' OR s19.option_id = '262' OR s19.option_id = '263' OR s19.option_id = '264' OR s19.option_id = '265') AND (s21.option_id = '276' OR s21.option_id = '277' OR s21.option_id = '278' OR s21.option_id = '279' OR s21.option_id = '280' OR s21.option_id = '281' OR s21.option_id = '282' OR s21.option_id = '283') AND (s22.option_id = '285' OR s22.option_id = '286' OR s22.option_id = '287' OR s22.option_id = '288' OR s22.option_id = '492' OR s22.option_id = '493' OR s22.option_id = '494') AND (s23.option_id = '290' OR s23.option_id = '291' OR s23.option_id = '292' OR s23.option_id = '491' OR s23.option_id = '663') AND (s24.option_id = '294' OR s24.option_id = '295' OR s24.option_id = '296' OR s24.option_id = '297' OR s24.option_id = '298') AND (s25.option_id = '299' OR s25.option_id = '300' OR s25.option_id = '301' OR s25.option_id = '302' OR s25.option_id = '454' OR s25.option_id = '455') AND (s27.option_id = '312' OR s27.option_id = '313' OR s27.option_id = '314' OR s27.option_id = '315' OR s27.option_id = '316' OR s27.option_id = '317' OR s27.option_id = '318' OR s27.option_id = '319' OR s27.option_id = '320' OR s27.option_id = '344') AND (s29.option_id = '321' OR s29.option_id = '322' OR s29.option_id = '323' OR s29.option_id = '324' OR s29.option_id = '325' OR s29.option_id = '326' OR s29.option_id = '327' OR s29.option_id = '328' OR s29.option_id = '329' OR s29.option_id = '330') AND (s31.option_id = '333' OR s31.option_id = '334' OR s31.option_id = '335' OR s31.option_id = '336' OR s31.option_id = '337' OR s31.option_id = '338' OR s31.option_id = '339' OR s31.option_id = '341' OR s31.option_id = '342') AND (s32.option_id = '348' OR s32.option_id = '350' OR s32.option_id = '351' OR s32.option_id = '352' OR s32.option_id = '353' OR s32.option_id = '354' OR s32.option_id = '355' OR s32.option_id = '356' OR s32.option_id = '357' OR s32.option_id = '358') AND (s33.option_id = '362' OR s33.option_id = '363' OR s33.option_id = '364' OR s33.option_id = '365' OR s33.option_id = '366' OR s33.option_id = '367' OR s33.option_id = '368' OR s33.option_id = '369' OR s33.option_id = '370' OR s33.option_id = '371') AND (s35.option_id = '372' OR s35.option_id = '373' OR s35.option_id = '374' OR s35.option_id = '375' OR s35.option_id = '449' OR s35.option_id = '450' OR s35.option_id = '567' OR s35.option_id = '568' OR s35.option_id = '569' OR s35.option_id = '571') AND (s38.option_id = '376' OR s38.option_id = '377' OR s38.option_id = '378' OR s38.option_id = '379' OR s38.option_id = '380' OR s38.option_id = '381' OR s38.option_id = '382' OR s38.option_id = '383' OR s38.option_id = '384' OR s38.option_id = '385') AND (s39.option_id = '386' OR s39.option_id = '387' OR s39.option_id = '388' OR s39.option_id = '389' OR s39.option_id = '390' OR s39.option_id = '391' OR s39.option_id = '392' OR s39.option_id = '393' OR s39.option_id = '394' OR s39.option_id = '395') AND (s40.option_id = '402' OR s40.option_id = '403' OR s40.option_id = '404' OR s40.option_id = '405' OR s40.option_id = '406' OR s40.option_id = '407' OR s40.option_id = '408' OR s40.option_id = '409' OR s40.option_id = '410' OR s40.option_id = '411') AND (s41.option_id = '413' OR s41.option_id = '414' OR s41.option_id = '415' OR s41.option_id = '416' OR s41.option_id = '417' OR s41.option_id = '418' OR s41.option_id = '419') AND (s42.option_id = '421' OR s42.option_id = '422' OR s42.option_id = '423' OR s42.option_id = '424' OR s42.option_id = '425' OR s42.option_id = '426' OR s42.option_id = '427' OR s42.option_id = '453' OR s42.option_id = '641' OR s42.option_id = '643') AND (s50.option_id = '496' OR s50.option_id = '497' OR s50.option_id = '498' OR s50.option_id = '499' OR s50.option_id = '500' OR s50.option_id = '501' OR s50.option_id = '502' OR s50.option_id = '503' OR s50.option_id = '504' OR s50.option_id = '505') AND (s51.option_id = '509' OR s51.option_id = '510' OR s51.option_id = '511' OR s51.option_id = '512' OR s51.option_id = '513' OR s51.option_id = '514' OR s51.option_id = '515' OR s51.option_id = '516' OR s51.option_id = '517' OR s51.option_id = '518') AND (s53.option_id = '538' OR s53.option_id = '539' OR s53.option_id = '540' OR s53.option_id = '541' OR s53.option_id = '542' OR s53.option_id = '543' OR s53.option_id = '544' OR s53.option_id = '545' OR s53.option_id = '546' OR s53.option_id = '547') AND (s55.option_id = '4152' OR s55.option_id = '4162' OR s55.option_id = '4172' OR s55.option_id = '4182' OR s55.option_id = '4192' OR s55.option_id = '4202' OR s55.option_id = '4212' OR s55.option_id = '4222' OR s55.option_id = '4232' OR s55.option_id = '4242') AND (s58.option_id = '605' OR s58.option_id = '606' OR s58.option_id = '607' OR s58.option_id = '608' OR s58.option_id = '609' OR s58.option_id = '610' OR s58.option_id = '611' OR s58.option_id = '612' OR s58.option_id = '613' OR s58.option_id = '614') AND (s60.option_id = '682' OR s60.option_id = '683') AND users.approved = '1' AND users.deleted = '0' and users.main_photo_id !=0 AND (users.latitude > 35.3239421622 AND users.latitude < 36.1938578378) AND (users.longitude > -79.3142578966 AND users.longitude < -78.2453421034) AND users.dob > '1957-03-19' AND users.dob < '1988-03-19' AND users.id != '1' AND users.id NOT IN (SELECT blocked_user_id FROM blocked WHERE user_id = '1') AND users.id NOT IN (SELECT user_id FROM personal_definitions_attention) ORDER BY distance ASC LIMIT 500

SelvirK
Funny thing - I was rereading this thread when I came to this post. I opened up the comments to write "I don't get it", but it looks like I've beaten myself to it. :-)
Kyle Cronin
looks more like spam to me
mezoid
HAHAHAHA!!! That's hilarious! That one took a while.
Atømix
Can someone explain this for us poor SQL-deprived people?
Michael Myers
Does it just select everything (or nothing) in a roundabout way?
Michael Myers
Haha its from a adult dating site, right? :D
Arcturus
Dating for programmers?
Kevin Panko
+5  A: 

From an analysis of the Linux ELF binary executable files for Oracle Database 11g:

The set of hashing algorithm identifier values (used as a parameter to the ztv2ghashs hashing function)..

0xf00d means: Use MD4 
0xdead means: Use SHA1 
0xbeaf means: Use MD5

Some programmer at Oracle has a (schoolboy;-) sense of humour!

tardate
+14  A: 

variation: There are 10 types of people: Those who understand binary and those who get laid.

+8  A: 

One of my favorites is "FREE THE MALLOCS!"

Trying to explain your activism to non-programmer friends doesn't work very well though.

Joe
+6  A: 

I don't write bugs, I write typos that are syntactically correct.

Tom Ritter
+1  A: 

In VBScript: Dim Sum

PatrickvL
+1  A: 

"A System Error has occurred...
Error Message: Keyboard not attached
Press F1 to continue"

It actually has some sense into it : plug the %@%)@)% keyboard in and THEN press F1 to continue. Otherwise (keyboard damaged physically, no keyboard physically present etc.) then do nothing.
Andrei Rinea
Yup. Happened to me several times.
SurDin
+7  A: 

Theres no place like 127.0.0.1

127.0.0.1 sweet 127.0.0.1

loopback sweet loopback? localhost sweet localhost? one-two-seven-dot-zero-dot-zero-dot-one sweet one-two-seven-dot-zero-dot-zero-dot-one? That is why I hate this one...
John Gietzen
127.1 is a valid substitute for 127.0.0.1. Try it!
Jonno_FTW
@Jonno_FTW: Sweet. Strange I learned ::1 before the IPv4 version :)
tsilb
+12  A: 

Jesus and the devil are in a programming contest. As the hours pass by, they both work furiously and there is no clear front runner.

Then, just as time is almost up, there's a power failure that causes both machines to reboot. The devil is furious, shouting and cursing, and works quickly to finish the contest. Jesus calmly waits for his machine to come back up, and works quietly until the end of the contest.

When time is up, Jesus is declared the winner. The devil asks the judges, "How did he win?!!?" They reply, "Jesus saves."

Adam Neal
Jesus saves.... Buddha does incremental backups!
lsc
Jesus saves...All others take full damage
Covar
+4  A: 
if(you.AreHappy && you.KnowIf){
  you.ClapHands();
}

[TestMethod]
public void Paradox(){
  while(shrodingersCat.InTheBox){
    Assert.IsTrue(shrodingersCat.IsAlive);
    Assert.IsTrue(shrodingersCat.IsDead);
  }
}
Slace
+9  A: 

There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary, those who don't and those who understand gray code.

+6  A: 

ascii a stupid question, get a stupid ansi

That's one too many "i"s in ANSI.
P Daddy
+23  A: 

Attributed to Dr. Niklaus Wirth when asked about the pronunciation of his name:

"Whereas Europeans generally pronounce my name the right way ('Nick-louse Veert'), Americans invariably mangle it into 'Nickel's Worth.' This is to say that Europeans call me by name, but Americans call me by value."

Ferruccio
A: 

Ooh, I've got one!

VB

P Daddy
+12  A: 
if(!this.Kill(me))
    me.Strength++;
P Daddy
whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger...nice!
Kedar Soparkar
+6  A: 

When we had an "out of order" sign on our office restroom, we added a line "please redirect your output to /dev/null"

Uri
+1  A: 

I like this

Rulas
+2  A: 

Q: How many IBM CPUs does it take to execute a process?

A: Five. Four to hold it down and one to rip its head off.

Evan
A: 

A couple of good ones for those that are into number systems:

  • If you feel the metric system is confusing should try hex. The Drinking age is 15 and you can get married at 10.

Or along similar lines:

Q: How do you know your child will grow up to be a good programmer?

A: His favorite game is Crazy 10's (base 8)

Q Why don't you ever see a char or short at a buffet?

A They're full after a couple of bytes.

Atømix
+13  A: 

Q. How many Haskell programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Not defined: changing a light bulb is a side effect.

Jonas Kölker
+4  A: 

Q. How many Haskell semantics does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Impossible, they're all lazy.

Jonas Kölker
+2  A: 

This always makes me smile: VB

Dim User ...

Sylverdrag
A: 

Q: How many object oriented programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None: The light bulb will change itself!

Leonard
+1  A: 
you step into the stream
but the water has moved on
404 file not found.
chris
A: 

delete system 32. make your computer faster

+9  A: 

One that I came up with the other day:

that | smoke

A.k.a. "Put that in your pipe and smoke it."

Cristián Romo
+1  A: 

I hear that FOX are producing a TV show about an object that gets converted into XML.

It's being serialized.

(sorry)

Martin Peck
+1  A: 

IF IF = THEN THEN THEN = ELSE; ELSE ELSE = IF;

-- PL/1 --

Allegedly, any way.

Bill99
It's almost PL/I. You need another semicolon: IF IF = THEN THEN THEN = ELSE; ELSE ELSE = IF; If you're a compiler writer you have to understand that. If you're a programmer (even if you're a compiler writer) you don't write code like that.
Windows programmer
+4  A: 
while (!$sleep) 
{
    $sheep++;
}
Mez
+7  A: 

C++ Is a modern language: your parents can't touch your privates, but your friends can.

LiraNuna
+1  A: 

Just thought of one, not sure how funny it is :P

public enum ees{
    John_Dillinger, Baby_Face_Nelson, Pretty_Boy_Floyd
}

LAWL right? yeah it's lame. the movie was alright btw.

Victor
+3  A: 

8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartender asks "What will it be?" They reply, "Make us a double."

Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”

How do OOP programmers make their living? Inheritance.

st0le
+23  A: 

A programmer's wife one day asked her husband: Can you go to the shop and buy a loaf of bread and if they have eggs, buy six. The programmer dutifilly goes to shop and returns with 7 loaves of bread.

Jonno_FTW
+3  A: 

favorite is....

class Lady { void mind; short skirt; }

class MarriedWomen { double weight; }

Ahmad Dwaik
+3  A: 

Maybe the funniest programming-related joke i've ever heard. It begins like this:

Dear Tech Support Team:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0, but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,

Here's the link w/ the rest.

doug
hehe... writing your support-person...Could you once try formatting your system please?If this does not work, seek for your spaces around wife1.0It has been reported that the best way in such cases is to try to oderate the effects of wife1.0.
sangam
A: 

alt text

Thunder
+4  A: 

alt text

Thunder
+1  A: 

"Programming is full of surprises".
The biggest surprise is, when you meet those surprises, you realise that you never understood what that you never understood what means "Programming is full of surprises"

Shimmy
A: 

I read they are thinking of creating .xxx websites. I don't know why... we already have .or g

Jeff
+1  A: 

Q: What do you call the arguments of a program that is very difficult and painful?

A: aaarghc, aaarghv

Madhu
+1  A: 

Sql injection for speed cameras

G2
+3  A: 

Almost true.

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hgulyan
A: 

It is not just for programmers but I really like this one I saw once in a T-shirt:

"There Are Only 10 Types of People in the World: Those Who Understand Binary, and Those Who Don't."

Javier De Pedro
A: 

My professor told me copy and paste coding is bad, so I typed it all from scratch...

AaronLS
A: 

Some of you remember James Rumbaugh, one of the UML proponents. Here's an example of inheritance:

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Joel Rodgers