What code should I put on our softball Jerseys?

Question

I work at a small company full of software Nerds. Our wives have decided to put a Co-Ed softball team together called "The Nerds", rightfully so. One of the wives happens to be a Graphical Designer, she has come up with the brilliant idea to put Code on the Jersey (How this wasn't my idea, I have no clue).

The only rule is, she wants Nerds to be a part of the code. I've been racking my brain to come up with something clever, but really haven't been able to. So I decided to open it up to my online family. Where better to ask than SO?

Update:

Thanks to you everyone for your suggestions. The final decision was:

As you can see we had nerd nicknames, my favorite nerd nickname was "PC Overload". Because I played a lot of FPS in college they gave me the nickname of "Headshot".

It was an overall fun Softball season. Unfortunately, like true nerds are record was 2-10-0. The only team we were able to beat was the nurse team! At least the Nerds beat the Nurses! :)

Answer 1

select count(wining_games) from games where score > 0 and team = 'NERDS'

100 rows returned

Answer 2

if(nerd_score >= (your_score + 10))
  game_over();

Answer 3

while (innings_count <= 9 || teams[0].score == teams[1].score)
{
    Nerds.Play(ball);
}

Answer 4

Pick something that mashes up LOLcats and the iconic phrase "all your base are belong to us".

This is subtle on a couple of levels - softball has bases. The phrase "all your base are belong to us" means you have been pwned or beaten. LOLcats just rock any time anywhere, just referring to a LOLcat is symbolic of geekdom.

References:

LOLcats here and here

"All your bases" saying here

Answer 5

for each player in team {    
    if (player.isAthletic)
        return false;
    else
        nerds.append(player);
}

Answer 6

How about...

var ball = new Ball();

try{     
   while(u.feelReady())
   {
      Nerds.hit(ball)
   }

} catch(anything){

   // you wish
}

Answer 7

while (Ball.Altitude> 0) base++;

Answer 8

What about:

score++

or

++nerds.score;

Answer 9

Maybe something along these lines?

#include <nerds.h>

if nerd_swing() == HIT
{
    cout << "Run, Run, Run!"
}
else
    strike++

Answer 10

IF ($IQ > $heightCM) {
    $teamNerd[] = $player;
} ELSE {
    $teamLoser[] = $player;
}

ok, seriously, the following answer is the one you MUST use:

SWITCH($nerd.sex)
    case "m":
        $nerd.team = ΛΛΛ;
        break;
    case "f":
        $nerd.team = ΩΜ;
        break;

optional bonus output:

echo "HNU- HNUH HNUH HNUH HNUH!" // nerd laugh

Answer 11

Nerd pitcher = new Nerd();
if (pitcher.isBellyItcher) {
  throw WeDontWantHimException();
}

EDIT: I'd like to support my idea further by pointing out that there is already precedent for putting this phrase on a shirt. ;)

Answer 12

function old_ball_game() {
    while(1) {
        me.take_out(ball_game)
        me.take_out(crowd)
        me.buy(peanuts)
        me.buy(cracker_jack)
        if (rand() >= .5) {
            break
        }
    }
    Nerds.root()
    Nerds.root()
    Nerds.root()
    if (!(Nerds.score() > Opponent.score())) {
        return(shame)
    }
    if (Nerds.strikes() == 3) {
        out++
        exit
    }
}

EDIT: For a shorter version, I think this stanza would get the point across:

    Nerds.root()
    Nerds.root()
    Nerds.root()
    if (!(Nerds.score() > Opponent.score())) {
        return(shame)
    }

Answer 13

while(!gameOver){
     pitch();
     hit();
     run();
}

nerdWins++;

or, more simply:

if( gameOver ) {
  nerdWins++; 
}

Answer 14

Nerds.exit(0); // Success

Answer 15

try{
    Nerds[PITCHER].throw();
}catch(flyBallException f){
    Nerds[BATTER].out();
}

Answer 16

My third and final attempt. Not strictly code, but "Nerds" is there if you speak geek.

78 69 82 68 83

or in Hex, for the slightly more geeky "N":

4E 45 52 44 53

Answer 17

until game.eof?
  cheer_for "Nerds"
end

Answer 18

Nerd_Bases.add(Your_Base.all());

(thx @slugster)

Answer 19

Make all the numbers hexidecimal.

And if Java is okay as a language:

boolean isHit = true;
Thread nerd = new Thread(new Runnable()
{
    void run()
    {
        while (true)
           System.out.println("Go!");
    }
});

if (isHit)
{
    nerd.start();
}

Answer 20

Base.find(:all).each do |b|
  b.owner = "Nerds"
end

Answer 21

bool alwaysYieldsTrue()
    for each Nerds as Nerd
        if Nerd.isntPro()
            return false
    return true

Answer 22

while (season.HasGames)
{
    nerds.Dominate(season.CurrentGame);
    nerds.Victories++;
    season.NextGame();
}

while (true)
    Console.WriteLine(nerds.Victories);

Answer 23

Print "Nerds" in Brainf*ck:

+++++[<+++>-]<[>+++++>+++++++>++++++++<<<-]>+++.>----.>------.<-.>+.

Answer 24

while (Nerds.Score++)
{
   You.Score=null;
}

Obviously, Score is a nullable type.

Answer 25

nerds += ↑

(That's an arrow pointing at the players head...)

Answer 26

Inspired by sgreeve's post

if (nerdTeam.batting) {
    for each (nerd in nerdTeam.players) {
        nerd.swing(bat);
    }
} else {
    for each (nerd in nerdTeam.players) {
        try {
            if (nerd.hasBall) {
                throw ball;
            }
        } catch (ball) {
            nerd.switchTeams();
        }
    }

An explanation for catch (ball) { nerd.switchTeams(); } in case nobody gets the humor:

If a nerd is able to catch the ball, he's on the wrong team.

Answer 27

We're in ur base stealing ur base

Answer 28

Nerds.hackScoreboard(100, 0);
Nerds.leave();

I just thought of a slight variant:

Nerds.hackScoreboard(100, 0);
sleep(3600);

Answer 29

The N3RD$

while(innings < 9) 
  runs++

Answer 30

GameBoy.setCartridge(SlugFest);
Nerd.play(GameBoy);

Answer 31

Nerds.Balls > Your.Balls == true

Answer 32

Come on, the only true answer is BINARY!

01010100 
01101000 
01100101 
00100000
01001110 
01100101 
01110010 
01100100  
01110011 

Answer 33

I'll apologize beforehand for this...

class equipment {};
class Base : equipment {};
class Ball : equipment {};
class Baseball: Base, Ball {}

It's a baseball inheritance diamond. Don't use it in real life C++ if equipment has virtual functions!

I tried to find something that involved popping a variable called "fly" but couldn't come up with anything..

Answer 34

Plain and simple:

  <Nerds/>

Answer 35

¡spɹəu

¡spɹəu

Answer 36

#include <assert.h>    
assert(Nerds > opposingTeam);

or elaborating on the "all your base" thing

for_each(base in YourBase) { base.setBelongTo(us); }

Answer 37

nerds.Dominate();

Answer 38

foreach (var player in players)
{
    ITeam team;
    if (player.IsWhite && player.IsNerdy)
    {
        // They see me mowin' my front lawn...
        team = nerds;
    }
    else
    {
        team = anti_nerds;
    }
    team.Add(player);
}

Answer 39

I think I'd go with a fork bomb, simply because it's so cool:

int main ()
{
  for(;;)
    pid_t nerd = fork();
}

Answer 40

sudo make me a N3RD

Answer 41

what about SQL:

select count(*) as counter from teams where name <> 'Nerds' and status = 'Good'

result counter = 0

Answer 42

/* */

(No Comment)

Answer 43

life=fn(fun)

or

ReadReverse(uoYkcoRlliWeW)

Answer 44

CREATE PROCEDURE HaveFun
@Pitch VARCHAR(10);
@MyStrikeCount INT;
AS
SELECT Nerd, RAND(@MyStrikeCount) AS HomeRuns
FROM Inning.Nerds
WHERE Inning.Nerds.BeerCan IS NOT NULL AND @Pitch NOT IN ('FastBall','Dirt','Ball','HitBatter','Stands','Wild')
AND @MyStrikeCount < 3
GO

Answer 45

Command Line:

[[email protected] name]#./team_member_name.sh

Answer 46

C:/Ball
C:/Ball/Run
Run/Nerds/Run

Answer 47

var Softball = {
 team  : "Nerds",
 player: "Smith",
 number: 10,
 nerd  :  true
}

or just simply

/* Nerds
 * Smith
 *  #10
 */

Answer 48

How about some plain black-and-white (or red-and-white) jerseys with some css?

    #Jersey
    {
        background-color: #CC0000;
        color: #FFFFFF;
        font-family: Script MT Bold;
        font-size: 50pt;
        text-align: center;
        width: 16in;
        height: 24in;
    }
    #Jersey:before
    {
        content: "Nerds";
    }

Assuming, of course, that your colors are red and white.

(CSS3 not compatible with IE ;-) )

Answer 49

I like Yoda's saying from thinkGeek:

$DO || ! $DO ; try
try: command not found

http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/unisex/itdepartment/9e4a/

Seems apt as a sports metaphor: trying is just an excuse for quitting before being successful.

Answer 50

How about...

  if Team = 'Nerds' then
    Ump.Shout('Ball!')
  else
    Ump.Shout('Strike!');

Answer 51

while(1) {
   cout<<"Nerds";
}

Answer 52

{ball1,ball2,ball3,ball4} = home.run

Answer 53

My suggestion:

this.game(() => nerds);

...as in "no arguments, this game goes to the nerds"

Answer 54

Dim name As Nerds

Answer 55

Nerds++

Simple, readable from a distance of more than a foot away, and applicable in many programming languages.

Answer 56

I got my inspiration from two sources: sgreeve's answer and this site.

    /// <summary>
    /// Team Nerds
    /// </summary>
    public static void Main(string[] args)
    {
        Opponent losers = new Opponent();
        losers.Burninate();
        Environment.Exit(0);  // Success
    }

    class Opponent
    {
        public void Burninate()
        {
            Console.WriteLine(@"                                                 :::                 /n" +
                              @"                                              :: :::.                /n" +
                              @"                        \/,                    .:::::                /n" +
                              @"            \),          \`-._                 :::888                /n" +
                              @"            /\            \   `-.             ::88888                /n" +
                              @"           /  \            | .(                ::88                  /n" +
                              @"          /,.  \           ; ( `              .:8888                 /n" +
                              @"             ), \         / ;``               :::888                 /n" +
                              @"            /_   \     __/_(_                  :88                   /n" +
                              @"              `. ,`..-'      `-._    \  /      :8                    /n" +
                              @"                )__ `.           `._ .\/.                            /n" +
                              @"               /   `. `             `-._______m         _,           /n" +
                              @"   ,-=====-.-;'                 ,  ___________/ _,-_,'`/__,-.        /n" +
                              @"  C   =--   ;                   `.`._    V V V       -=-'#==-._      /n" +
                              @" :,  \     ,|      UuUu _,......__   `-.__A_A_ -. ._ ,--._ ,`` `-    /n" +
                              @" ||  |`---' :    uUuUu,'          `'--...____/   ` `.   `            /n" +
                              @" |`  :       \   UuUu:                                               /n" +
                              @" :  /         \   UuUu`-._                                           /n" +
                              @"  \(_          `._  uUuUu `-.                                        /n" +
                              @"  (_3             `._  uUu   `._                                     /n" +
                              @"                     ``-._      `.                                   /n" +
                              @"                          `-._    `.                                 /n" +
                              @"                              `.    \                                /n" +
                              @"                                )   ;                                /n" +
                              @"                               /   /                                 /n" +
                              @"                          |\ ,'   /                                  /n" +
                              @"                  .,_A_/\-| `   ,'                                    /n" +
                              @"                    `--..,_|_,-'\                                    /n" +
                              @"                           |     \                                   /n" +
                              @"                           |      \__                                /n" +
                              @"                           |__                                         ");
        }
    }

Makes a nice team logo for the front of the jersey, no?

Answer 57

jquery style

 $('.nerds').baseball();

or

 $('.nerds').game();

Answer 58

I can't believe no one thought of HEX yet!?!? write out Nerds in HEX

0x4E 0x65 0x72 0x64 0x73

Answer 59

Your team members should have the following jersey numbers:

09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0

Answer 60

All your base are belong to Nerds!

Answer 61

foreach(Player p in YourTeam)
{
   p.GetOwned();
}

if (nerds.Score > YourTeam.Score)
{
   do
   {
     Gloat();
   }
   while(NerdsRule == true);
}